Acknowledge your child’s pain without minimizing or denying it. Refrain from phrases such as “It can’t be that bad.” Ask exactly where it hurts so you can get an idea what type of headache the pain could be.

Discuss options with your child on what to do—a children’s painkiller, a cool washcloth on the forehead, relaxing with eyes closed, thinking about happy things such as playing on the beach, etc.

Stay with your child through this experience, providing him with hope. Tell him it will go away soon.

Most of all, in any experience that is painful for your child, keep your own anxiety in check. If a child senses you are scared, he or she may become unreasonably scared, causing the hurt to be more painful than it is. Because, as Kuttner writes, “In every pain experience the brain integrates sensory and emotional information as well as thought processes.”

But say your child has an injury more serious than a tension headache. What can you do to help her control the pain? According to Dr. Ronald Melzack in his book The Puzzle of Pain, you can teach your child to “gate the pain.” “The pain impulse could be blocked, weakened or interrupted along the pathways to the brain.” This is done by rubbing the limb, finger, etc., which activates a gating mechanism and inhibits the spinal cord’s cells that transmit the pain message to the brain.

Another option for controlling pain is by using endogenons opioids, including the body’s own endorphins. The brain, stomach and other organs have opioid receptors that naturally work to reduce pain. The immune system immobilizes cells that travel to the injury and release the endorphins. To release more opioids, medications such as morphine can be used.

Less potent medications, such as acetaminophen, ibuprofen and corticosteriods (such as hydrocortozone ointments) can also be used for some pain and injuries.